Some Die Young
by everyonesalesbian
Summary: <html><head></head>Allison is gone and the pack are gathered at Derek's loft a year later.</html>


It had been a year since Allison died. A year of struggle, pain and disconnection. Lydia couldn't get close to anyone; she wanted to so badly. She wanted to depend on someone, she wanted to be comforted. Her heart tore every time she imagined being with anyone else other than Allison. She never got the chance to tell her how much she loved her. Instead, she moved around for a year like a zombie, her eyes glistening over, never really paying attention. She was stuck.. stuck here without Allison.

Even now as the pack gathered in Derek's loft she couldn't focus. Instead she poured herself a large cup of vodka and mixer. She didn't have a drinking problem, despite what the rumour mill said, she just found it easier being numb. She wore jeans and a loose jumper as a way to hide the weight she had lost. The other's knew of course and they were trying to help her - if only she would stop pulling away from them.

She took a seat next to Malia and flashed her a small grin that didn't quite reach her heart. Malia grinned back like a kid at Christmas and reached down to squeeze the strawberry blonde's hand. Over the past year her and Malia had become friends but Allison very rarely let such emotional displays take place. Today she didn't mind.

Everyone was here; Scott, Stiles, Malia, Derek, Kira, Liam, Braeden and even Isaac. Even in a room full of her pack members Lydia still felt desperately alone. But tonight she was going to try and be better. It still felt like there was a hollow burning in her chest but she was learning to cope with it. Tonight was about Allison and she wasn't going to try to hide from it.

Malia relaxed back as Stiles wrapped an arm around her. Across from them sat Scott and Kira huddled close together and Derek and Braeden sitting next to each other in a similar fashion to Stiles and Malia. Liam and Isaac sat on the floor next to them. Lydia was surrounded by people she loved. People who knew how she felt now and how she'd always felt about Allison. She recalled a time when Scott had finally bit the bullet and asked her about it when Allison was still alive...

_"Lydia, can I ask you something?" Scott said as they sat in the library studying. _

_"Sure, what's up?" Lydia replied concentrating on her work._

_"I know I haven't been a werewolf for that long.. but I can smell it." Lydia was curious enough to look up from her book._

_"Smell what?" She asked cautiously._

_"I know how you feel about Allison. I can smell the love rippling off of you." Lydia placed a false smile on her face trying to hide her lie._

_"Of course I love Allison. We all do. Plus she's my bestfriend."_

_"Lydia, you know I can tell when you're lying right?"_

_There was a moment of silence as Lydia cursed under her breathe._

_"Please Scott, don't say anything." Scott reached over clasping Lydia's hand in his._

_"Of course I wont Lyd's. You know that. For what its worth she could feel the same you know? Maybe you should tell her." Scott was the sweetest guy Lydia knew and his words made her think he might be right._

_"Maybe I will... one day." Lydia said. She meant it._

When she had spoken to Scott that day she knew she would tell Allison eventually.. now she didn't have the chance.

Everyone sat around having small conversations and laughing while Lydia downed her drink. She walked to the kitchen to get another and felt Derek follow her there. He placed a delicate hand on Lydia's shoulder as the two had a silent conversation. Her smile faltered and his arms wrapped around her delicate and frighteningly thin frame. She'd always know Derek knew too - not that Scott every said a word. She had a feeling even if he wasn't a werewolf he would know. He was so perceptive.

"It's going to be okay, Lydia, I promise." He whispered to her.

Since Allison passed Derek had tried to reach out to Lydia despite their history. He had felt the pain she felt now and knew how lonely it could be. She always fanned annoyance when he tried to get her to do something, anything, but secretly she appreciated their friendship.

"Thank you Derek."

They pulled apart and Lydia grabbed a drink before they headed back to the pack falling back into their seats.

Scott stood up.

"As you all know we are here to celebrate our lost friend Allison. So who's up first?" The pack had prepared speeches about their friend and tonight was the night they would read them out.

"I'll go." Isaac stated standing as Scott sat back down.

"Me and Allison were never in love but we gave each other something. I gave her self-belief. Belief that she was strong and powerful. She gave me hope. She gave me hope that I could love someone one day despite my childhood. She taught me that I could get close to someone. I will always be grateful for that. I miss her everyday. She changed my life in so many ways and I will never forget that." Everybody clapped as Isaac sat down.

"I'm next!" Stiles yelled falling awkwardly off the sofa gaining a laugh from everyone including Derek. But the laughter stopped as soon as Stiles started to speak again.

"I know everyone say's I'm not to blame for what happened.. I know it could have been any of the three of us that was possessed but it wasn't it was me. I don't think there will be a day when I don't struggle with the guilt. Allison was my friend, a girlfriend, a daughter and she was the best hunter I've ever known of. She was powerful, strong and fearless. What I do know is that she would want us all to remember her with a smile on our faces. She would want us to be happy." He raised his cup and the pack followed.

"Cheers"

"Cheers" Everyone replied before drinking and clapping at the end of his speech.

Scott stood up holding onto Kira's hand. She smiled nodding at him to begin.

"Allison was the first person I ever loved. She only cared about other people and she would have done anything for us.. she did. She died to save us. She let me know that someone could love me. She gave me hope and belief in myself and I'm so thankful for her. I'm so thankful that she was there guiding us, protecting us and loving each and everyone of us - despite how moody some us can be." He pointed at Derek laughing. "But seriously, she transformed our lives. Because of Allison, I'm with Kira. I know she would support both us fully because that's the type of person she was. She only wanted us to be happy." He sat down clutching at Kira's side.

A tear fell down Lydia's cheek. It was time for the finale speech - her speech. She was terrified and even the alcohol didn't seem to numb it. Malia once again clasped her hand and whispered to her.

"You can do this." Lydia nodded and stood up ready to get everything off of her chest.

"I loved Allison. I know bestfriends always say that about one another but I was in love with Allison. She was everything to me and not a day passes when I don't think about her. Sometimes I wish it was me instead of her so that she could be here bringing smiles to your faces. I'm trying so hard to be happy. I'm trying to so hard to push past this feeling of being empty. God I just want to be with Allison. I want to see her beautiful face and I want her to tell me how strong I am because she's the only one who could make me believe it. I don't want to be like this any more. I want to be better. I can't..." her voice broke off and tears fell freely down her face. Derek stood up and wrapped an arm around her. "I can't do this on my own. I need you."

Lydia was asking for their help finally and they were all more than ready to give it. She hated being vulnerable but she needed to be. Nobody questioned her love as most of them knew already. Scott walked over and kissed on forehead.

"Hey, you're going to be okay. I promise." He pulled her into a hug. Lydia nodded in acceptance. Maybe she would be okay.

She sat in between Braeden and Kira and the girls smiled at her glad that she needed them.

They say only the good die young.

Allison was the best person Lydia ever knew.


End file.
